Five years ago, I was suffering serious depression with thoughts of killing myself.
A lot of things in life triggered this and never did I expect myself to be in that position. I had always projected myself as a strong and capable woman. I was able to stand firm for my younger sister, took care of her while my parents were separating, finding out their secret affairs, and getting through with single parenthood. But then I met an old friend whom I had a relationship with (after 8 years of being single) and shared my job with a person who broke my heart and did something that I lost my job because of it. It was the start of my crazy life.
I was seriously unstable and my family wasn’t there to support me emotionally, financially, and physically that I had to find that comfort somewhere else. I felt so neglected, unloved and uncared for. I found fleeting comfort from friends, alcohol, and eventually drugs.
During my dazed time, life got even tougher and the feelings I longed for even magnified. I couldn’t ask for help because I couldn’t even understand myself.
Instead of finding those feelings and getting myself fixed, I got hurt even more and I lingered a little longer in the dazed life since the temporary fix was there.
One time, I clearly remember the scenario, I was praying while I was under the influence. I wasn’t happy with my life anymore. I knew God wasn’t happy either. I just had the sudden guilt feeling because I should’ve known better since I grew up in a born-again Christian environment since I was born.
During that journey, I believe God heard my prayer but the answer was another roller coaster adventure. I got pregnant with my second baby. The father of the baby threatened me that we had to fly to Manila from Cagayan de Oro to stay safe and away from the issue and the wrong friends I was spending time with.
We struggled to survive in Manila–I was a single mother of two now. Prayed really hard for a better life for me and my kids where they know God and I could provide for them like a normal family could. Eventually, God answered it one by one. I got an online job to sustain us again. I was feeling more secured and taken care of.
As I was browsing Facebook last November 14, 2014 for the perfect planner to use so I can organize my life, I was able to find Certified Positive’s Facebook page and everything I needed was there.
I needed something to organize my debts, payables, and expenses–this was my priority.
It was another answered prayer.
The organizer/planner that I exactly needed because daily positivity was given out and Bible reading guide was also a feature. I was so excited to have it for me and my family that I bought for each family member online. November 28, we received our planners.
It was definitely a #CertifiedPositive journey since then.
Because of the daily Bible reading, I started to find meaning in my life.
I slowly understood how things were and how I needed to let things be and let things fall into place–to be still and know that He is God and Lord over EVERYTHING in our lives. Along the way I found a very supporting church in CCF Makati.
The first time we were there, I brought my two kids with me and I could feel the love of the Lord and everyone welcoming us from the door.
My kids and I are now back in Cagayan de Oro and I still am using this planner for my everyday journey. The daily guidance, comfort, assurance, and even reprimanding from God could also be found in the quotes and the Bible readings inside it.
My debts were paid off in less than six months with the Daily Expense Tracker reminding me every time I opened the Daily Interact Certified Positive Planner.
I would like to thank Ma’am Bea for the note of encouragement that came along with my planner last 2014–that encouraged me to go on during my tough times in Manila.
I am forever grateful and thankful to God for blessing the Certified Positive team and for allowing them to create this planner for everyone.
God bless and more power to everyone!